This poem emerged from a night when I was sleeping peacefully and then awakened at 3:00 am to a prayer running through my mind. It didn’t stop. I felt peaceful, but the prayer was insistent enough I finally rolled out of bed and took up a pen and a pad of paper to allow my soul’s yearning to spill onto the page until it was spent. Don’t give me that old-time religion. I’m not longing for the past. I don’t want what used to be, or who used to be. I want you, God. New. Fresh. Now. Here. As a deer pants for the water My soul longs for you. I want your ineffable presence. I yearn for the embrace of spirit. I crave the resonance of being known. I want the bloom of a daffodil, Not the regularity of brickwork. I want the lift of heart that comes When human ego recedes And my spirit is wrapped in the love of God. I want the feeling of union that comes When community pulls together after disaster. I thirst for spirit’s intrusion Unexpectedly Arising in the midst of mundane. The shaft of light through clouds And not the territorial bickering of committee meetings. I want You. And I know You are present In the heartbeat of every person who bickers. You Pour out into the selfish and sublime An equal opportunity employer When the greediness for getting the credit Or being right Is overcome by Poetry Rush of water over stones The hush of a forest glade The clasp of hands bloodied by a battle. I long for the soar of my heart Thrumming with a gospel choir, Without finger pointing, Condemnation, cold shoulders, Committee cliques, Denominational wars. I want The pulse of community Justice rolling down like waters Love lifting me Righteous longing satisfied Grace flowering The burst of love in the midst of suffering. Not explanation. Not reasoning. Reasoning does not fill the holes in my heart Church members being appropriate Are no substitute for the Holy Spirit. I know The swell of inspiration throbs In the hearts of liberals and conservatives Even when they don’t hear each other. It waits In the lectionary And in the wild burst of heart When a stranger runs into a fire To pull a child to safety Without rehearsal or reasoning. God, I miss you. And You miss me too When I invest in Seeking approval from the committee In the church or in my head Instead of breathing You in. Oh, Israel, you said. I would have gathered you to me As a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. But you were not willing. Break open our armored hearts To expose our willingness. Open the channels of justice That have been choked with arguments for What we’re accustomed to, What won’t cause a fuss, What stays within the budget. We need a fresh experience of You Out of bounds Rogue Like Your spirit. Revive us again. With a flash of lightning With a baby’s laughter With the purr of a kitten With a squeeze of a hand. Interrupt our order of worship With a shower of stars The embrace we’ve longed for Or the welling of tears. Override our structures And be with us in our midst. Abide with us. We long for you. Show up, God. Take the log out of our eyes While we strain at splinters. You know how we are, Clasping our lists of rules, And you love us anyway. Help us to feel You In disappointment In grief In despair In fear. Give us joy Give us hope Give us laughter Give us rest. Give us You.