I’m still breathing, even though I haven’t been on the blog all year.
This morning I talked to that gadget in my kitchen again. I instructed Alexa to set a recurring daily reminder for me.
I told her to remind me to breathe at 9:00 every morning. And then I told her to set another recurring daily reminder to breathe at 11:00. And then at 1:00 pm. At 3:00. And also 5:00, 7:00, and at 9:00 pm. Every day.
My first try had been to tell her to set a recurring daily reminder for every hour on the hour between 8:00 am and 9:00 pm. But she replied, “Hmm. I don’t know about that.”
Sometimes she doesn’t get me.
So I had to do it in stages, one reminder at a time. I just wasn’t patient enough to set up thirteen reminders.
Of course, in between all those reminders, obviously my body will continue to automatically take in breaths on a regular basis.
The thing is, I don’t notice my breathing most of the time. There are a whole lot of good things in my life that I don’t notice. What I mostly tend to notice are things I don’t like much. Things that frustrate me, negative thoughts. Terrible blunders I commit, that’s a big category. Stuff like that.
So I set reminders to notice my breathing more frequently. If I’m not in the kitchen, I get a little reminder note on my phone.
I didn’t instruct Alexa on this, but I intend to remember to do more than breathe. I intend to stop what I’m doing, and be conscious of how I’m breathing, that I’m able to breathe—more easily than some people can physically do. I could pray for the well-being of those who can’t breathe so well.
While I’m breathing, I can notice that I’m safe—which could help my tendency to get anxious about things that aren’t really problems at all. I’ll try to notice what I have a good life I have. And that I don’t have to worry about the basics. I can be grateful there’ll be enough air to breathe the next time I need it. Odds are excellent I’ll continue to have food to eat, a roof over my head, and people who care about me.
I can notice that I have a 100% success rate, over the last 66 years, in getting through whatever challenge came at me.
Over the years, and right up to present day, I’ve employed some old coping strategies that were not-always-so-attractive, by the social standards I feel compelled to satisfy. I don’t like some of those patterns I recognize in myself. I’ve made some choices I’d rather not discuss, out of regret. There are still amends to make.
But I’m still breathing.
I still have blessings to notice.
Maybe I could settle in here and be at home in myself. And notice it’s a pretty good place spend a few minutes. Or more.
Wendell Berry said: “And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home.”
Just remember to breathe.
